Because It Works
by QuirkyRevelations
Summary: The Bad Touch Trio would like nothing more than for their respective boyfriends to get along so they come up with an elaborate scheme to get them talking: lock them in a room and hope for the best. After all, what could possibly go wrong with two foul-tempered tsunderes and...wait, who's that other guy? FrUk, PruCan, and Spamano SLASH! *Edited as of October 23, 2014*


**Hello people of the Hetalia world and welcome to my one-shot! I've always loved reading stories about the friendship surrounding Britain, Romano, and Canada just because they're each dating the Bad Touch Trio so I figured...why not :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia. If I did, then there would be a lot more episodes of the Bad Touch Trio's antics in the anime :3 I also own nothing you recognize.**

**Warnings: language, sexual themes, innuendo, and references**

* * *

"For the last fucking time, where the hell are you taking me, tomato bastard?!"

"It's a surprise, Lovi~"

"Is that all you're going to keep telling me you jerk?! I hate surprises so you better tell me why the hell we're at the World Meeting Conference building before I rip your balls out and feed 'em to the potato bastard's dogs!"

"But Roma, how will I be able to pleasure you if my balls are ripped out?" Spain smiled brightly at his adorable boyfriend, Romano, who was currently turning red with anger and perhaps embarrassment. So cute~ "Besides, I didn't know you and Ludwig were so acquainted! You must be good friends if he'd let you use his dogs!"

"Shut up, bastard! I'm not friends with that potato-sucking, macho jerk, I hate him! He has the fucking _nerve_ to corrupt my idiot, dumb ass of a brother!"

"Oh Romano, you need to give Veneziano a little credit." The two suddenly stopped walking down the halls and stood in front of a door. "Feli is more than capable of handling himself when it comes to _amor_~"

"YOU DID _NOT _JUST SUGGEST THAT MY BROTHER IS ROMANTICALLY INTERESTED IN THAT *#$% POTATO BASTARD!"

"_Scheiße_, could you be any louder? I'll bet we can hear you from the other end of the fucking universe! Kesesesese~" The two brunette nations turned at the sound of that odd, accented laugh and were surprised to see Prussia standing a few feet away, smirking as his cranberry-red orbs gleamed with amusement. He wasn't alone either—his arm was snuggly wrapped around a slim waist belonging to a lithe frame with wheat-blonde hair and shy, twilight orbs framed by glasses.

Spain was delighted to see them while Romano wasn't as thrilled. "Speak of the fucking devil, it's potato bastard #2 and..." he squinted his scowling hazel eyes at the blonde, "who the hell are you, and why the hell do you smell like maple-fucking-syrup?!"

The blonde looked briefly affronted. "I'm Canada." Then he self-consciously sniffed the sleeve of his red hoodie. "I...I don't really smell like maple syrup, do I?"

Prussia grinned at him and nuzzled his cheek. "You sure do, Birdie! You smell awesome! Damn, I'm tempted to have a taste~" He snickered as Canada turned a bright shade of bubble gum pink.

Antonio giggled at the two and gripped the hand of his _tomate_ who groaned. "Oh fuck, _another_ pervert. And here I was thinking that I was the only one unlucky enough to be dating one! Good luck, maple bastard."

Canada furrowed his brow upon being addressed. "Uh…thanks…?"

Gilbert chuckled, turned to his Spaniard companion, and remarked, "Hey Toni, speaking of pervs, have you seen Franny? He texted me a while ago saying that he and Eyebrows were already here."

Spain shook his head, unaware or simply ignoring the looks of confusion and wariness on Romano and Canada's faces. "_No sé_. Lovi and I just got here."

"Same for me and Birdie."

The two mused over the situation while Lovino glared at them and Matthew nervously fiddled with his hands, both of them wondering what their boyfriends were up to. After all, Prussia and Spain along with France spelled trouble, hence their group name 'The Bad Touch Trio'.

"What the fuck are you two talking about?!"

"U-um, Francis and Arthur are here?"

The Spaniard and albino each snapped out of their thoughts, as if just realizing that they had brought along their boyfriends, and they simultaneously responded: "Nothing, Roma!" "Maaaaaaybe~ you'll have to wait and find out, _Vögelchen_!"

Before either the Italian or Canadian could respond, they all suddenly heard some unusual shuffling in the room behind the door nearby, accompanied by noises that sounded suspiciously like lips smacking or the slurping noises that America makes whenever he brings a soft drink to a meeting. Immediately, all four nations whipped their heads over to the door, and a second later, Prussia slowly reached over, grasped the knob, and opened it with a simple twist.

What they saw was unexpected, yet not at all surprising—within the heart of the room was France and Britain making out rather enthusiastically. They happened to be in the meeting room, sprawled upon the long conference table. France was on top of England with his shirt pulled down to his shoulders, one hand threaded through the Brit's short, dirty-blonde hair, firmly clutching those locks with his long elegant fingers, while his other hand was under the other's collared shirt. Britain, meanwhile, had his leg swung around the Frenchman, pressing him closer as his hands were fumbling with the other blonde's buttons.

Neither of them even noticed their half appalled (Romano and Canada), half bemused (Spain and Prussia) audience.

"O-oh maple!"

"Fuck! My eyes! They're burning!"

"Kesesesese~ get it on, Francey-pants! Get some British cock!"

"Um, excuse me, _amigo_, but your shirt is unbuttoned."

France and Britain immediately stopped and whipped their heads over to their fellow nations. Francis beamed with delight, unashamed of his current position. "Oh _bonjour, mes amis_! When did you all get here?"

"Just now," Antonio helpfully supplied.

"Ohonhon~ anyone care to join?"

"Bloody hell!" Arthur hurriedly shoved his lover off of him, embarrassed, as he began fixing his hair and straightening his clothes like the gentleman he makes out to be. "H-how long have you wankers been standing there?!"

Prussia smirked. "Long enough."

England flushed and scowled. "Don't you know it's rude to watch while other people are snogging?! Couldn't you have politely left rather than standing there like some pervert?!"

"Kesesese~ what's the fun in that?"

Britain seemed ready to explode, but France intervened by gracefully laying a hand on the Brit's arm, his appearance composed with his shirt buttoned up and his wavy locks smoothed over. "I'm actually quite glad you are all here! Now we can move on with our plan!"

Romano narrowed his eyes in mistrust. "Plan? What are you going on about, fuckface?"

Suddenly he, Canada, and Britain grew nervous as the Bad Touch Trio exchanged mischievous glances. France replied, "Well, you see, the three of us have been talking lately, and it came to our attention that this is the first time that all three of us are in an official relationship at the same time! Isn't that amazing?!"

Britain raised a bushy eyebrow. "Sure, why not, but what does that have to do with anything?"

"Everything," Prussia responded this time. "Once we realized this, then we knew we just had to do a triple date sometime!" Both France and Spain swooned at the thought. "But then we realized that we had a very unawesome problem!"

"Which is?" Canada softly inquired.

"That you three don't know each other that well," Spain happily answered. "We figured that it would be awkward if we all went on a triple date, but that you three had _nada_ to say to one another! So we decided to fix that!"

"How, _bastardo_?"

Spain, France, and Prussia exchanged glances once more, and the Frenchman chirped, "By locking you all in here!" And with that, the three of them spun around and dashed out of the room, slamming the door behind them. It took a couple of seconds for the remaining nations to comprehend that before England and Romano each let out a noise of outrage and rushed over to the door and try and yank it open, only to find that their boyfriends had oh-so-nicely locked it. As both instantly pounded their fists against the door, Canada stood there dumbstruck and blinked a couple of times.

"You fucking bastards better let us out of here before I kick this door down on your goddamned heads!" Lovino snarled as he gave the locked door a vicious kick, causing him to whine and clutch his now-bruised foot and then let loose another string of cussing.

Arthur seemed just as peeved and shouted, "What the hell is the meaning of this you wankers! Let us out this instant!"

"I'm sorry, _mon cher_," Francis's sultry voice called from outside, "but we can't allow any of you to leave so soon!"

"_Sí_," Antonio's euphonious voice sounded after, "not until you three talk a little! Just try and become friends~"

Romano and Britain froze at the thought and anxiously looked at each other and then to Canada who was sitting down on one of the chairs appearing equally as startled. "What?! No, no, no! You can't keep me in here so that I can be friends with these bastards!"

"I feel the same!" England barked as he punched the door again. "Why on earth would I want to be friends with Southern Italy and America?!"

"I'm Canada," the falsely-mentioned nation automatically said with a sigh.

That caused Britain to briefly stop and scrutinize him before his eyes lit up in realization then embarrassment. "Uh, right. Sorry about that, lad."

Canada merely waved off his apology. "I'm used to it."

"Hey!" Prussia's gruff voice irritably shouted, "You guys better get it through your fucking heads that that's _Canada_ not America! Birdie is too awesome to be mistaken for that dumb ass so don't you forget it!"

"I don't fucking care who he is," Lovino ferociously snapped. "All I care is that you jerks let us out! There's no way in hell that you're gonna leave us here to talk like a bunch of chicks at a fucking slumber party!"

"Just watch us~" France's voice cooed and, soon enough, it was silent from the other end, and no matter how loudly they yelled or how hard they banged on the door, the Bad Touch Trio wouldn't respond to them and seemed to have left.

After a while, Romano and Britain grudgingly gave up and slumped into some seats near Canada, who appeared slightly worried but, nevertheless, was rather calm about the situation.

"I can't believe they fucking left us," Lovino darkly grumbled. "Those bastards."

Arthur nodded and furrowed his bushy brows. "It would appear so, but mark my words the moment they get back, I'm going to teach that frog a lesson!"

(~^o^)~

Unbeknown to them, the Bad Touch Trio had actually not moved at all and were standing stock-still outside the door, each of their heads pressed against it as they strained to listen. Catching his British lover's threats made France smirk. "Ohonhon~ I wonder what _kind_ of lesson _mon petit lapin_ has in store for me. Maybe he plans to strip me down and tie me to our bed. Or maybe he'll put some whip cream all over me and will lick it off from my beautiful feet up to my gorgeous face _very _slowly. Or perhaps he will pull out the whip so he can treat me like the bad boy I am~"

"TMI, Franny," Gilbert remarked with disgust. "I don't need to hear about your perverted sex life!"

"Shhhh," Antonio implored them as he pressed his ear further into the door. "I can't hear what my Lovi is saying~"

~(^o^~)

"What the crappola are we supposed to be doing?!" Romano grumbled while he folded his arms over his chest, boring a hole into the table with his glare.

Canada shifted nervously. "W-well, I g-guess we're supposed to be talking and trying to get to know each other a little better."

"I know that you jerk! What I mean is why the hell are they making us do this! I have nothing to say to either of you, and I sure as hell don't need new friends!"

Britain snidely scoffed. "Oh please, we all know that's complete bullshit."

Lovino fumed with rage. "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?!"

"It means that you of all people need friends since you don't have any."

"Shut up! I have friends!"

"Oh really? Then enlighten me—who?"

Romano actually seemed thrown back and struggled to think of an answer before snapping, "I don't need to explain myself to you! Why don't _you_ tell me who your friends are! Oh yeah, you don't _have_ any other than your imaginary friends!"

_That_ struck a chord with England. "My friends aren't imaginary you bloody git! They're real!"

"In what universe?!" Lovino challenged. "Face it, Eyebrows, but those 'friends' of yours are all in your head, which makes you bat-shit crazy!"

"How dare you!" Britain angrily stood up in outrage. "I'll have you know that Flying Mint Bunny, Captain Hook, Tinker bell, and the others are all very much real and don't take kindly to your narrow-minded skepticism!"

"Narrow-minded?!" Romano stood up so fast that he knocked over his chair. "Say that again, bastard, see what happens!"

"P-please stop fighting!" Canada entreated as he stood up and made his way between the two. "There's really no reason to-"

"Narrow-minded!" Britain snapped, completely ignoring Canada. "You are undeniably, unconditionally, and irrevocably narrowed-minded!"

"Why the fuck are you quoting that lame, girly book with flamboyant, sparkly vampires and sappy romance?!"

"Um, g-guys?"

"I am not quoting _Twilight_, you barmy pillock, I'm merely emphasizing your idiocy!"

"Oh-fucking-please! The fact that you know where it's from is proof enough!"

"Guys, stop!"

"The only reason I know it is because it's been shoved in my face so many times! Besides, who the hell doesn't know about _Twilight_?!"

"I call bullshit! I'll bet you read crap like that along with those books about that crybaby kid with mental issues and those stupid glasses and that goddamn scar on his fucking forehead!"

"Don't you diss _Harry Potter_, you-"

"ENOUGH!" Canada whisper-shouted, having lost patience. Despite that his yell was nothing compared to Germany's scary roaring, it was enough to make England and Romano stop and look at him. "Stop fighting right now or I'll get my hockey stick and beat you both senseless! This is just absolutely ridiculous!"

For a moment, it was quiet as the other nations (including the ones hiding outside) processed that threat and heeded how the Canadian's cheeks were pink with anger and that his twilight orbs were fierce and determined.

Eventually, Lovino regained himself and snorted. "What makes you think I'd be scared of you or a hockey stick?"

"I made Russia cry once during a hockey game." Romano and Britain froze. The serious, annoyed expression on Canada's face along with how plainly and straightforward he said that made them realize that he wasn't joking.

(~^o^)~

Outside the door, the Bad Touch Trio was just as startled and Prussia's mouth was agape. "Holy shit I just got a boner."

"I never knew _mon fils_ was so…" France struggled for the right word, "assertive." Then he got this far-too interested look in his eyes as he inquired, "Hey Gilbert, does that mean that _mon petit_ Mattheiu is feisty in bed?"

Snapped out of his daze, Prussia glared at him. "None of your damn business!"

"I will take that as a yes! Oh, I'm so proud of my cute Matthieu~ Papa shall reward him later!"

"You better not!"

"Um, excuse me _amigos_, not to interrupt, but…who are we talking about?" France and Prussia both gave Spain a deadpan stare.

~(^o^~)

"Ah crap," Lovino grumbled. "You aren't kidding, are you?"

Canada shook his head, causing England to groan. "Oh bullocks, I _do_ remember you having an unusually aggressive nature when it came to hockey as a child."

The Canadian nation nodded fiercely. "And don't you forget it!" Then after a couple of seconds, he gradually calmed down and became a bit sheepish. "U-um, I'm sorry about that, b-but you both were getting on my nerves…"

Romano irritably scoffed. "Don't fucking apologize, it makes you look like a goddamn sissy!"

"Uh…I'm sorry…?"

The Italian grumbled out a sigh. "And just when I was starting to think you had a pair on you! Thanks for proving me wrong, jerk!" He then sat down with a huff of annoyance and Canada timidly followed the suit, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment.

Britain sighed and sat down as well. "Oh leave him be, Romano, you're just cranky because, um…"

"Canada," Matthew supplied with a resigned, weary expression.

"Right, because Canada managed to scare you-"

"The maple bastard didn't scare me! I-"

"And because we're still trapped in here. I can't say that I don't blame you either, I'm getting tired of this too and it hasn't even been 10 minutes yet." He impatiently rubbed a hand over his face. "I honestly don't see what the point of all this is; it's clear that you and I don't get along, and I doubt you," he looked over at Canada, "can get along swimmingly with either of us. We have nothing in common—this is pointless."

For once, Romano agreed with him and muttered, "Yeah, it's going to be as awkward as fuck if we go out on some bullshit triple date." Britain nodded and the two slumped down in their seats a bit.

Canada watched them and suggested, "W-we shouldn't give up s-so easily. M-maybe we can find some similar grounds to talk aboot." His apprehension made his Canadian accent more prominent. Neither of the two responded in confirmation nor negatively, and the blonde nervously twiddled his thumbs. "So, um, what _do_ we all have in common?"

Britain snorted. "You mean _other_ than the fact that we're all dating a bunch of nimrods because that might be the _only_ thing we have in common."

Romano curtly nodded his agreement. "_Sì_, the question is figuring out which one is the bigger idiot out of the three. All of them are bastards, but for different reasons."

(~^o^)~

The Bad Touch Trio each made a noise of offense, complete with France dramatically clutching his heart, Prussia scowling, and Spain pouting.

~(^o^~)

Canada knitted his brow as he assessed the two. "You guys don't really mean that, do you? After all, you _are_ dating those 'idiots' for a reason, right?"

Both Britain and Romano burned with horrified realization as they simultaneously sputtered out something: "I have my reasons for dating that insufferable frog…and no, it's not just for sex! We actually do talk about things…and not just sex! God, why does everyone think that?! I'm a perfect gentleman!" "You don't know a damn thing, bastard! I was drunk when I said yes to a date! And the only reason I even fucking went was because that jerk bribed me with tomatoes! I could've said no, but he just…I didn't…there wasn't…DAMN IT! SHUT UP!"

All of that was lost on Canada who looked at them quizzically. "Um…okay?"

The other two were flustered for a moment before they composed themselves. Romano scowled at Canada and grumbled, "You bastard, don't give me that look!"

"What look?"

"_That_ one!" The Italian pointed to his face accusingly. "Since you're so damned smart-"

"I never said-"

"Then tell us why the hell _you're_ with that arrogant albino bastard! Don't you get annoyed by his stupid voice, his stupid laugh, that stupid bird on his stupid head-"

"H-hey, don't be mean to Gilbird!"

"Or how he stupidly calls himself awesome! God, that's _all_ I hear from him! He makes me want to punch him in the face! He's just…he's such a…" Lovino struggled for the right insult, "he's such a bastard! He pisses me off almost as much as his potato-sucking brother!"

Matthew looked downright offended while Arthur snorted, unimpressed. "Very eloquent, Romano. I didn't know you were capable of such sophisticated language."

"Shut up British bastard! Don't go lecturing me on language and sophistication and shit when _you_ were once a pirate that cussed in every other fucking sentence! Damned hypocrite!"

England bristled in anger. "I am not! I'll have you know that my pirate days are over and I am a perfect gentleman you twat!"

"Oh yeah, nothing says 'perfect gentleman' than getting pissy and calling people fucking 'twats'…whatever the hell that even means!"

Before Arthur could retort, Matthew intervened: "O-okay, that's enough! Look, it's really important to Prussia, Spain, and France that we get along so can't we just _try_ and have a civil conversation? If not for the sake of our boyfriends?"

Britain and Romano begrudgingly considered the thought before they grumbled a very reluctant agreement, not before giving one another a final dirty glare. Canada sighed and said, "Close enough. Alright, how about we begin by trying to find some common interests, shall we? Uh…so what do you guys like to do for fun?"

"Cooking, obviously," Britain replied with a scoff and a wave of his hand.

Romano paled slightly. "_You _like cooking?! You've got to be fucking kidding me! Have you _tried_ your shitty food before?! I'd rather eat potatoes and wurst for the rest of my life than to ever be near any of that crap you try and pass off as food!"

"Don't be absurd, wanker! There is nothing wrong with my cooking! Maybe it's your bland, Italian taste buds that can't tell good food when they've had it!"

"Ah, ah actually, I like cooking too," Matthew quickly put in before Lovino could retort and thus keeping them on track. "Not to, uh, brag or anything but pancakes are my specialty. What about you, Romano, do you like to cook?"

Successfully distracted, Lovino looked to him with an expression that was almost offended. "What?! Of course I like to cook, I'm Italian! We're known for our cooking, and I'm pretty damn good at it!"

Canada made a small smile. "Oh, that's nice. What's your specialty?"

Romano considered this and said, "I can make a mean homemade pizza, different kinds of pasta, I can make damn good gelato from scratch…and I know how to make an espresso the right way."

Britain wasn't impressed. "Big deal, you can get all of that anywhere."

Romano bristled in annoyance. "No you can't, jerk, not the legitimate stuff! I cook the real deal!"

"And we believe you," Canada hurriedly said as he threw England a look that clearly told him to shut up. "So this is great, we all like to cook. Maybe one day we can all get together and make a nice dinner for Gil, France, and Spain, eh? That could be fun, right?"

(~^o^)~

The Bad Touch Trio thought so as they each licked their lips over the thought of authentic Canadian pancakes and Italian food. However, they simultaneously cringed at the thought of being served something by Britain.

~(^o^~)

Arthur considered the idea and shrugged. "I don't see why not."

"Hell no!" Romano snapped. "I'm not cooking those idiots anything!"

While Canada appeared mildly exasperated, England wryly grinned. "Alright, whatever. So we all have idiot boyfriends and we all like to cook…what else is there?"

"W-well," Matthew started off, seeming eager that the conversation was actually going well. "If I'm correct, we all have a brother…that's something else we all have in common."

Romano and Britain concurrently groaned and banged their heads against the table. "Oh bloody hell, don't bring them up."

"Shit, I don't want to be thinking of my stupid brother now! My headache just started going away!"

Canada blinked, surprised by their reactions. "I, uh, take it you guys don't get along with them?"

England raised up his head and scowled. "Ever since I was little, Scotland, Wales, and Ireland just loved using me as a punching bag, and they always liked throwing rocks and arrows at me…whatever was convenient for them so no, I _don't_ get along with them!"

Romano lifted his head too. "They sound like a bunch of bastards but, hell, look at the bright side—you're old enough to throw their shit back at them and at least you don't have my _fratello_ for a brother. Veneziano is a fucking crybaby and a ditz so he's always getting on my fucking nerves."

Arthur nodded in agreement. "I guess I do see your point. He was obnoxious enough when the Allies and I captured him during WWII, but having him around the clock must be tough. I actually rather feel sorry for you."

As Lovino inclined his head, Matthew looked between them. "Wow, and I thought that Al and I had our issues…sometimes…"

Romano snorted. "That's right, the hamburger bastard's your brother. That must be fucking annoying."

Canada shrugged. "Sometimes, but America means well…when he's not being irritating and such. I mean, we have our 'sibling rivalry' moments but, by the end of day, I still love him…even if he can be a total pain in the neck."

"More like in the arse," Britain pointed out. "I should know, I raised that git, after all."

Romano snickered. "That actually explains a lot." As England glared at him, he continued, "But yeah, I know what you mean, maple bastard. Feli might be such a whiny little shit, but he's still my brother and I can't…" he frowned and turned red, seeming having trouble to say this, "always hate him. Besides, no one can hate him for too long. He's too fucking perfect for that." He suddenly became bitter and Canada immediately noticed.

"How is he perfect? I mean, no offense to Northern Italy, but he doesn't really seem…" he struggled for the right word, "efficient…but that's just me, I don't know him very well."

Lovino rolled his eyes and scoffed. "It's a good thing you don't; Feli can talk your ear off about the stupidest shit if you let him…but that still makes him so _fucking_ adorable, so _fucking_ talented, and so fucking _great_. There's a reason why everyone prefers him over me…not that I care what they think anyways!"

Canada and Britain were both startled by his unintended confession and the younger blonde sympathized with him. Matthew looked to him sadly and quietly muttered, "I-I kind of know how that feels…"

Romano's attention snapped to him. "What was that, bastard?"

Canada flinched and turned red, realizing what he just said. "N-nothing!"

"Oh no, don't pull that shit with me! Finish what you were going to say, jerk!"

The Canadian chewed his lower lip, contemplating whether or not speak, before reluctantly deciding to after all. "W-well, what I was saying was that I kind of, sort of know how you feel. N-not really, but close enough, I suppose…"

Romano raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I-I mean that I sort of know how you feel…because of America. I know he's not exactly popular among most of the other nations, b-but he's still more popular than I am…just because people see him."

"The only reason people see him is because no one can look past that fat ass of his," Romano scoffed. "Since when do you care about popularity?"

"Never…but it would be nice if people remembered me once in a while…or realize that I'm in the room too…or that I'm not just an empty chair, I'm a nation too…it would be nice to be noticed every now and then…" He said that last part so quietly, yet Romano and Britain caught it and were shocked. They perceived the melancholy in his whispery voice as well as the dismal look in his eyes.

At that moment, they both realized just what exactly he was talking about. Britain thought of the times where he forgot Canada's name or mistook him for America, and Romano recalled all the instances where he questioned why there was an empty chair at the world meeting. Guilt immediately consumed them as they understood just how hurt he was

Oblivious to their feelings, Canada gave a quick, hollow chuckle. "The funny thing is the only time anyone _does _notice me is because they think I'm America. For whatever reason, people mistake me for him but never the other way around and, as a result, sometimes I get yelled at or hit on the head for his stupidity. It sucks sometimes…especially since America is still liked over me just because people remember him whereas I'm forgotten."

More silence ensued for a while until Matthew awkwardly cleared his throat and looked to Lovino with a sad smile. "Sorry about that, I didn't mean for this to become some therapy session. My point is that I sort of get what you're going through. But hey, at least no one forgets your name or mistakes you for Northern Italy. You have your own identity that makes you unique and unlikely to forget. Just ask Spain."

Romano stared at the blonde in awe, truly looking at him for the first time since they officially met. Instead of seeing the quiet, pansy boyfriend of the albino bastard, he saw the shy yet subtly strong young man that had the capability to do so much but was held back by unreasonable, undeserved forces. He was a kindred spirit and Lovino understood him because _he_ was the same—overshadowed by someone who's assumed better than they are and is generally misunderstood as a result.

At that moment, Romano felt a sense of respect for Canada.

The Italian blinked a couple of times before puffing out his cheeks and glaring at nothing or no one in particular. "There's no need to try and flatter me, bastard, I already can't stand your idiot brother."

Canada looked genuinely confused. "Flatter you? What do you mean?"

"I mean that I can tell that you're trying to get on my good side just so you can convince me that America is a douchebag. Don't waste your breath, I already think that."

Matthew studied him before a small smile broke out on his face, perceiving that in his own way, the Italian was thanking him. The Canadian then experienced the feeling of reverence and admiration towards him. "I wasn't trying to flatter you, but I appreciate what you're trying to say."

Lovino grunted and folded his arms over his chest. "Yeah whatever, don't get used to it, jerk."

Canada smiled softened as he added, "And just for the record, I might not know Italy that well, but I prefer your company to his." Romano's head instantly snapped up to look at him, surprised. "H-he seems…friendly, I guess, but you seem honest…brutally, I'll admit, but at least I can hold a riveting conversation with you since you seem like you always have something interesting to say…a-and at least I can trust you to be straight with me rather than sugar-coating something."

Matthew was incredibly bashful and looked to the ground, his cheeks turning a light pink. Meanwhile, Lovino and even Arthur were stunned by what he said and were left speechless. Eventually, England cleared his throat and said, "As much as I hate to admit it, he's right, Romano. Though I find you rude and atrocious," the Italian glared at him in offense, "I confess that Italy is monumentally worse. That git is rather annoying with his cowardice, and at least you're not obnoxiously jolly or a crybaby—you're just grumpy."

Lovino's furrowed brow deepened while Matthew couldn't help but chuckle slightly. Romano let out a small growl. "Look who's talking! And besides, I'm Italian—we're known for either being grumpy and part of the mafia or a fat plumber that rescues blonde bimbos." That got Britain and Canada to laugh, and the corner of Romano's lips twitched.

After a while, a comfortable silence settled between all of them. However, Britain squirmed in his seat, restless by the need to say something. "Wow, I never knew that it was like that for either of you, and I wish that I could say that I understand, but I don't. My brothers are horrid, yes, but it's as if the two of you are practically neglected."

Romano assessed his expression, finding it genuine, before shrugging. "Whatever, I don't give a shit anyways."

Canada nodded. "It's okay, I'm pretty much used to it."

"Nevertheless, it's not right..." Then England cleared his throat. "Say Canada…I'd like to take this moment to apologize to you."

The Canadian gave him a quizzical glance. "For what?"

"For, um…all those times I mistook you for America or forgot about you. I don't mean it, really I don't, it's just that…I don't know." England awkwardly rubbed his neck and looked sheepish and remorseful.

Canada smiled in appreciation. "That's okay. I don't take it personal. Like I said, I'm pretty much used to it."

Romano narrowed his eyes. "I don't see how you can get used to that. I'd be pissed if I was treated like that!" He then glared at Britain who looked ashamed and embarrassed.

"It-it's not that bad. Besides, I've been told that I look like America and we _are_ twins so I can kind of see why…"

The Italian snorted. "I don't get how people can mistake you for that hamburger bastard! He's the loudest, biggest douchebag of a bastard I've ever had the displeasure of knowing, and you're…less of a bastard…you're still a maple bastard though, but at least I can tolerate you…for now! You'll probably piss me off and get on my nerves later!"

(~^o^)~

Spain's grin couldn't be any brighter as he cooed, "Oh, Romano gave a compliment! He must really like your birdie, Gillie~"

Prussia looked to him with a furrowed brow. "_That_ was a compliment?!"

~(^o^~)

Canada seemed to think so because a soft smile lit up his delicate features. "Really? Thank you! So, uh…does that mean I'm not getting on your nerves now?"

Romano turned red from both anger and embarrassment as he irritably sputtered, "I didn't say that! You _are _getting on my nerves, you damned maple bastard! Don't fucking think you're special or some shit! I'm only saying that if I had to be trapped in a room with either you or that American dumbass…I'd be able to last longer with you before I'd want to shoot myself!"

As he grumbled to himself, Britain chuckled with wry amusement and turned to Canada. "It doesn't take much to rile this one up, does it?"

Matthew giggled as Lovino turned to him, fuming and his face burning brighter. "Shut up, tea bastard!"

"Hm, how interesting, I guess the frog was right—you_ do_ look like a tomato when you're angry."

"What?! Oh fuck no! What does that perverted French bastard say about me?!"

"Well, it's not really France that told me that, he was more of relating to what Spain tells him—the frog has only mentioned a thing or two about you...and now that I think about it," Britain addressed Canada, "he's told me some things that Prussia says about you."

Matthew blushed slightly. "Are they good?"

England shrugged. "I suppose so. It's just mostly stuff like how he enjoys your cooking, particularly your pancakes, and how he likes watching you play hockey."

Canada beamed with both approval and relief. "Gil says things like that? How nice."

Britain couldn't help but smile a bit at his reaction before inquiring, "Yes, it is rather nice, but I'm curious though—I've noticed that Prussia tends to refer you as 'Birdie' and even France has acknowledged that. Why 'Birdie'?"

Matthew chuckled. "I've actually been wondering about that for a while now. According to Gil, it's because I 'look and act like a bird'. I've never really understood it though."

Both Arthur and Lovino assessed him before the Italian said, "I see what that bastard's talking about. You're like that dumb little bird that's always in his old man hair."

Canada appeared mildly offended, but then a thoughtful expression came about his face. "You think I'm like Gilbird?" When Romano shrugged, the blonde pensively hummed. "Well, I guess that could be a reason why Gil calls me 'Birdie'…his other nicknames for me makes sense, but that one's always baffled me."

Britain nodded in response. "I know what you mean. France tends to refer to me as a '_petit lapin_' and I have no idea what the bloody hell it means since I don't speak that god-awful French. Of course, the damned frog is smug about it and won't tell me whenever I ask him, that cocky snail-eater."

Canada's cheeks turned pink as he muttered, "I, uh, actually speak a bit of French if you want a translation."

Britain raised an eyebrow and Romano looked somewhat interested. "Really? Then do tell, what does it mean? Is that idiot calling me something vile?" Lovino snickered at the thought.

Matthew chewed his lower lip. "No, it's not mean, it's actually kind of sweet. _Petit lapin_ literally translates as 'little rabbit', but it's often used as a term of endearment."

Romano immediately burst out laughing while England blushed. "What the-?! Why the hell would he call me a rabbit! And I am not little, the bastard!"

Lovino let out a couple more chuckles before sneering. "But you're shorter than the fuckface so he's got you marked! Hahaha!"

Britain scowled and snarled, "Shut up! And what about you?! I'm pretty sure I've heard Spain call you a cutesy name or two!"

Romano instantly stopped laughing and turned red. "Those names are _not_ cutesy! They're fucking annoying! That dumb ass just likes to call me whatever the hell strikes his goddamned fancy!"

"Like Lovi~?" England remarked with a smug smirk.

"Or _tomate_?" Canada couldn't help putting in.

Romano's face burned a brighter crimson, and he glared. "Shut up, jerks! You guys are named after animals!"

Britain snickered. "At least we're not named after food."

As Lovino angrily sputtered, Matthew chuckled. "I think it's actually kind of sweet how affectionate Spain is towards you with his nice little nicknames and such."

(~^o^)~

From the other end of the door, Spain beamed proudly and cheerfully hummed in his bliss. He could express all the love in the world to his Lovi, but it still wouldn't be enough to get the gist of just how much he adored his Romanito. Yet, he still tried his best. After all, his beloved _amor_ deserved only the best.

~(^o^~)

Romano rolled his eyes. "I'm getting a fucking cavity just thinking about it."

Britain dryly chuckled before commenting, "Actually, now that I think about it, they _all_ are rather 'affectionate', wouldn't you say?"

Lovino scoffed. "Affectionate? They're all a bunch of perverts."

"My point exactly. After all, I'm dating the frog!"

"Sucks for you. I don't know how you can stand being groped by that fuckface every second you're with him." Then he turned to Canada. "And I don't get how you deal with the albino bastard with his perverted jokes!"

The blonde blushed and tucked a piece of hair behind his ear. "Well…they're funny."

The Italian rolled his eyes as Britain inquired, "Hey Romano, out of curiosity, is Spain really that perverted? He's so much of a ditz it's hard to believe."

"Oh trust me, he is. That bastard may be a dumb ass, but he sure as hell knows what he's doing! He purposely pulls on my curl just so we can…so that I get…" His previously tanned cheeks returned to its famous shade of red as he trailed off.

Canada's eyes lit up in understanding while his own face glowed a Valentine-pink. "I know what you mean—Gil does the same with my curl."

(~^o^)~

Prussia and Spain gave each other a high five while France gave them a thumb's up of approval.

~(^o^~)

"Good-for-nothing perverts," Romano grumbled.

Britain nodded in agreement. "Sometimes I do wonder why I put up with France and his incessant need for groping."

"I know why," Lovino remarked with a smirk. "Because you dig humping that bastard."

Both Britain and Canada blushed though England's was considerably darker. "Sh-shut up, wanker!"

"You know it's true!"

"…So what if it is! I bet you enjoy having a taste of Spain's 'churro', don't you?"

Romano jumped and immediately became flustered, and while he attempted to speak, Canada willed his own face to cool down. "C-Can we please stop talking about this? It's embarrassing."

"Gladly," Britain exclaimed with relief. "After all, I'd rather _not_ have the disturbing mental image of Spain and Romano having sex."

Lovino made a small noise of outrage. "As if anyone wants to think of you and the fuckface naked, let alone screwing each other's brains out!"

Britain groaned and covered his face while Canada rubbed his temples and commented, "Oh maple, how do you think_ I_ feel? These are the guys that raised me! No one wants to imagine their parents…playing Parcheesi!" He shuddered at the thought.

Something occurred to England that made him blanch. "God, I just imagined it being the other way around! Damn, imagining you and Prussia is going to give me nightmares."

Romano shivered in response. "Why the hell did you have to say that aloud?! I didn't need to know that!"

Canada had assumed that his blush intensity levels had reached their limitations, but they were somehow exceeded, and he mumbled something unintelligible. Romano pressed his fist against his head as if in hopes of erasing that mental image. "_Chigi_! When did this become some horror fest?!"

Britain didn't respond and merely groaned some more while Canada sighed. "I have no idea, but can we _please_ get it to stop?! It's weird imagining 'mom' and 'dad'," he made air quotes, "together let alone two other people I barely know."

England made a noise of agreement. "Yes, and it's rather unsettling knowing that _you're_…pursuing adult activities with Prussia. I still remember you as a little boy playing with that bear of yours."

Despite his flustered blush, Canada gave him a small, slightly nostalgic smile while Romano absently nodded. "Yeah, and it's even weirder since your face practically screams 'I'm fucking innocent'."

Matthew wrinkled his nose and quietly muttered, "I-I'm not that innocent…"

However, both Lovino and Arthur heard him and practically cringed. "P-pardon me?" "Holy shit! Does this mean you're _not _a virgin?!"

Canada flushed and shot back, "I-I _was _a virgin before I met Gil! I-" He instantly cut himself off and blushed a shade of red that outmatched Romano's face even in his angriest moods.

(~^o^)~

"Wait…I was Birdie's first time?"

"Are you okay, Prussia?" Spain looked to his friend with concern as the albino's cranberry orbs glistened with what appeared to be tears.

Prussia blinked slowly before a wide, silly grin of pure ecstasy lit up his face. "I was my Mattie's first time! Ha! Fuck yeah!" He enthusiastically pumped his fist in the air and whooped with joy, only to be shushed by France.

"Quiet! They might hear you!" Then something occurred to him that made him mentally double-take and he blinked. "Wait, _you_ deflowered _mon petit_ Mattheiu?…Ohonhon~ do tell me the details. Was he a perfect, _fantastique_ lover like yours truly?"

Not noticing the creepy glint in his eyes, Prussia eagerly nodded. "Mattie was a fucking _beast_. It was hot!"

"Perfect! Then that means I have done my job as a good papa~"

Spain beamed at his friends' happiness. "Congratulations _mis amigos_! I'm glad things have worked out for both of you! I just hope I can say the same for me and my Roma~" He briefly paused as something came to him, and he giggled. "I just realized something—I'm the one who taught Lovi 'the birds and the bees', and yet, I'm the one he's, uh, _using_ that knowledge on! Isn't that ironic?!"

France chuckled, amused. "Life can be funny that way, Toni, right Gil?"

"_Ja_…" Prussia answered, still seeming very love-struck and starry-eyed.

~(^o^~)

Meanwhile, the albino's lover was still a very bright pink as well as very embarrassed. His companions looked disquieted and aghast by the Canadian's accidental confession, Britain especially. "Oh god, I can't believe Prussia was your first time."

Still red in the face, Matthew threw him an offended glare. "And what's wrong with that?!"

"N-nothing! It's just that I honestly thought it would be someone else."

"Like who?"

"…I don't know, I hadn't really thought about it, but I sure didn't picture Prussia. I figured maybe Ukraine or Netherlands…someone respectable." Canada's frown deepened. "No offense."

"How can I not take offense to that?! Prussia was and still is wonderful and I don't regret spending my first time with him!"

While Romano made a face, England awkwardly cleared his throat. "Well, I suppose I can respect that…and understand in some ways. I'll…admit that…the frog was my first time too…" His voice progressively got lower until he practically mumbled that last phrase, obviously self-conscious, yet nevertheless the other two heard him and were surprised.

"No fucking way," Romano muttered.

Britain reluctantly nodded. "It's true. I mean, it wasn't my intention, but we were both young and drunk. I had been at a bar having a couple of the drinks when the frog showed up and started bothering me. We got into a drinking match and the next morning I woke up…with him. It was fuzzy, but from what I recall and according to France, I _clearly_ didn't mind and that I had actually _initiated_ it." He lightly chuckled. "I was in denial for so long though France enjoyed referring to it as our 'release of sexual tensions'."

"You mean hate sex?" Romano ventured without so much as a blink.

"Basically." He cleared his throat again. "Our first time was completely by accident and yet, ironically, we happen to be sleeping with each other years later."

"Oh maple," Canada mumbled though he still appeared disturbed over imagining his 'parents' making love.

Romano nodded. "You said it. Now let's just _stop_ talking about this! We sound like a bunch of broads talking about their love life!"

"Wait, now hold on a minute," England said with a mischievous smirk. "Canada and I disclosed who our first time is, so why don't you return the favor and give us a hint as to _your _first time was."

Romano's eyes went impossibly wide while Canada's briefly dilated before glimmering with interest and he unconsciously leaned forward. The Italian was speechless for a while, a first for him, until he exploded, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST ASK ME?!"

"I asked who your first time was," Britain coolly replied.

"Why the hell would you ask me that, you bastard?!"

"Because I'm curious."

Before Romano could yell some more, Canada timidly spoke up, "A-Actually I'm kind of curious too. Was it Spain?"

Lovino paled slightly, and he immediately looked down. "N-no! None of your business!"

Arthur bit his lower lip to keep from laughing. "I'll take that as a yes…and I must say I'm not that surprised."

Romano let out a growl and then folded his arms over his chest, pouting. "Fine, I'll admit it! The tomato bastard _was_ my first time…but it was not my idea! Just for the record, he pulled my curl first and it all went downhill from there!"

Canada chuckled. "The curl _is_ our Achilles' heel!" Romano confirmed that with a scoff and a carefully-hidden dry smirk.

Britain snickered and remarked, "I feel sorry for the both of you having such obvious weaknesses." The other two winced at the thought. "But I have no doubt that you can name Prussia and Spain's weaknesses, right?"

The other nations considered this before Canada's eyes lit up and Romano smirked. England gave a smirk of his own. "Oh, I know _that _look. I'm sure I had the same one when I discovered France's weakness…and by Jove it's _ridiculous_!"

Matthew perked up with interest while Lovino's smirk became rather evil. "Do tell, bastard."

(~^o^)~

The Bad Touch Trio was forced to stand there for nearly half an hour listening to their boyfriends tell embarrassing things and mortifying stories about them and having a good laugh about it. They snickered at one another's expense yet cringed when it was their turn of humiliation. In fact, they were close to pulling the plug and letting their presence known until something caught their attention.

~(^o^~)

"I can't believe that albino idiot streaked across Switzerland's place naked!" Romano exclaimed through his laughter as Canada and Britain laughed with him.

"Y-Yes!" Matthew managed to gasp out. "Germany even confirmed it when I asked him!"

"Oh god," Arthur snickered. "I'm sure Switzerland must've been pissed and poor Liechtenstein must've been traumatized, the poor girl!"

They all laughed for a while until they managed to calm down and their sides gradually stopped hurting. Romano then turned to Canada and said, "Seriously though, why the hell _are_ you with the albino bastard? He's a dumb ass bastard crazy enough to streak naked across the gun bastard's lawn while you're just crazy for dating him."

Britain became thoughtful and added, "He's right and also, you two are so different…why _are_ you together?"

Canada considered this before a soft, fond smile crept upon his face. "To be honest, I've actually questioned it too. But the answer is pretty simple—because it works. Prussia, well not to sound cheesy, but he completes me. He's everything I've always wanted to be: brash, confident, brave, and memorable."

Matthew briefly paused to gauge the other two's reactions and since they seemed intrigued and somewhat impressed, he continued: "In fact, Gil is the first person to see me and I mean _see_ me not as America or an invisible nation but as _me_. And what's more, he listens to what I have to say, and he pays attention to me and makes me feel like I'm actually important…someone worth remembering. For the first time in my life, I feel special…because of him. Gilbert…gives me the confidence to face the world, he gives me hope. _That's_ why I'm with him."

He smiled proudly and with complete and utter happiness while Britain and Romano assessed him with awe and a hint of admiration.

(~^o^)~

Meanwhile, Prussia's smile couldn't get any bigger or brighter as his eyes lit up with ecstasy. He leaned against the door and whispered, "Yeah well, you're pretty awesome too, Birdie. You inspire the Awesome Me to be truly awesome, and I sure as hell feel truly awesome around you…even more so than when I'm drinking~"

~(^o^~)

Romano made a low whistle of wonder. "Damn, you're in deep…good luck, maple bastard."

Despite his wry sarcasm, Canada gave him an appreciative smile as Britain put in, "I never realized how serious you were with Prussia. Perhaps later France and I shall talk about our approval."

The younger blonde blushed. "I…I'm not some teenager, eh."

"Nevertheless, I intend to look out for you." Then Arthur turned to Lovino. "And I extend that to you as well, Romano."

The Italian was surprised, yet he put on his usual scowl and brushed it off. "Don't treat me like I'm some little kid! I can take care of myself! Shit, even if Spain_ does_ screw up then I'll just send the mafia on his ass!"

Britain gave him a smirk. "I don't doubt you will, but please allow me to ruin his life a little; it'll give me an excuse to get him back for his armada and pirate days. Besides, I've been dying to use some black magic on him."

Romano roughly chuckled and shook his head. "Yeah well, don't waste your time, I doubt Spain will screw up anyways—he's too…him for that. Plus he's a dumb ass so if he ever does do or say something stupid, he wouldn't even realize that it was stupid. Shit, he wouldn't know stupid or mean if it head-butted him and kicked him in the balls."

"I don't doubt that either seeing that he's dating you," Britain playfully quipped.

As Romano's face turned red, Canada chuckled and then became reflective. "Say Romano, why _are_ you with Spain?" Lovino snapped his head over to him, his expression clearly shocked. "I-I mean, you seem to hate him sometimes and…and he doesn't exactly seem like your type."

It was quiet for a moment as Lovino stared at him. Though he was glaring, there was something about his countenance that showed just how hard he was thinking. Eventually, he sighed out of what appeared to be weariness. "It's like you said, maple bastard; I'm with him because it works. I don't know how, but it does." He paused. "And I don't…hate him…completely. It's just that…Spain is the only guy I know who actually likes me…and who prefers me to Feli. He's also the only one who can put up with me at all." He scoffed and crossed his arms tighter. "What an idiot. No matter how many times I hit him or call him a tomato bastard, he _still_ likes me and he _still_ adores me…calling me cute and looking like every little thing I do is important and interesting." He narrowed his eyes so that they were fierce, determined little slits. "I don't know why the hell he does or why the hell he always stares at me with that stupid smile on his face…damn it, he makes me want to punch him…but then I can't since he's him! Why the hell does he make me like him?! He's just too damn good for me!"

(~^o^)~

From the other side of the door, Spain smiled fondly and said, "Actually, _mi amor_, it is _you _who is too good for _me_. You don't know how long I've spent trying to be my best for you. You'll just…never realize just how special and extraordinary you are~"

~(^o^~)

While Romano grumbled in his flustered state, Canada gently smiled. "I'm pretty sure he'd disagree with that."

Lovino snorted. "That's because he's one of the biggest dumb asses I've ever known."

Britain smirked and quipped, "Let me guess: but he's _your_ dumb ass, right?"

Romano spluttered incoherently, turning bright red, until he found it in him to shout, "HE'S NOT, YOU BASTARD! HE'S JUST…" He trailed off for a moment, trying to find his point. Eventually, he just snarled, "_CHIGI_! So what if he is, damn it?!" Britain chuckled while Canada covered his own set of giggles. "Shut up! Don't judge me! You're with _France_ of all people!" _That_ got Arthur to stop laughing. "What?! He's a pervert, don't deny it!"

The Brit's cheeks were slightly pink, yet he grumbled, "Rest assured, I won't. I _know_ how much of a pervert he is…and how he hits on anything with a pulse…"

"Then enlighten me, jerk: why _are_ you with him? What makes the fuckface so damn attractive and so damn irresistible?!"

England flushed slightly before his eyes clouded over in thought and his expression involuntarily softened. "Well…everything actually. France may be the biggest fool and sexual deviant I've ever met, but it's actually the reason why I've fallen for him. I'm with him because...it works and it just makes so much sense."

Romano and Canada were undoubtedly surprised by that statement and waited with baited breath for more. Britain supplied answers to their questioning, interested gazes. "In spite of the frog's flaws, he's always been there for me from the time we were children to teenagers to adults; he's been by my side for as long as I can remember and, oh as much as I hate to admit it, he's the only one I would ever want with me…through good and bad times. Hell, he was actually there for me when America first declared independence and he comforted me like a decent human being." He dryly chuckled. "I will never tell him this, but I enjoy being with him, even if we're just bickering for bickering's sake. In fact, I find our arguing rather fun and stimulating. Like I said, he's a fool, but I wouldn't want him any other way."

(~^o^)~

"I wouldn't want me any other way either," France remarked with a fluff of his hair. "Although, I wouldn't want you any different as well, _mon petit lapin_. You are perfect despite that you are British and a complete drunk. Though I will forgive you since you're just so cute~"

~(^o^~)

"Though it _would_ be nice if he wasn't a disgusting, inappropriate Frenchman all the time and actually tried to be a gentleman for once in his life." And the moment was gone. "Honestly, it can't be _that_ difficult."

"Yeah," Romano quipped with a smirk. "Especially since you manage to pull it off for at least a couple of minutes at a time, tea bastard."

"Oh shut it, git!"

"Thanks for making my point, jerk."

Canada chuckled and looked fondly between them. "Aw, you guys are like an old married couple. France and Spain will be so jealous~"

Both nations frowned at him. "Shut up, maple bastard!" "Belt up you barmy pillock!" Canada merely giggled in response, getting both to groan.

"Well, on the bright side," England started, "at least it won't be nearly as awkward if we all go on that triple date thing those idiots were talking about."

Canada smiled and nodded in agreement while Romano snorted and sarcastically commented, "Whoop-Dee-Doo I'm _so_ happy. Not only do I get to see you bastards, but I get to see the _other_ two bastards too. It must be my lucky goddamned day."

"Lucky indeed," Britain wryly quipped. "Especially since _you're_ the one dating a no-brained imbecile."

"And _you're_ the one dating a perverted, flamboyant fuckface," Romano shot back with a devious smirk.

Canada giggled at their antics, getting them to round on him and simultaneously say, "And _you're_ the one dating an arrogant albino douche!"

It was quiet for a moment, all of them merely staring at one another, before they all burst out laughing. "L-like an old married couple!" Canada gasped out.

"Sh-sh-shut up maple bastard!" Romano weakly threatened between his chortles.

"Y-you both are h-highly immature!" Britain threw in.

They laughed for a while as their boyfriends on the other end frowned with distaste. "Think it's time to let them out?" Prussia suggested.

France nodded and grumbled, "_Oui_, they've had their fun."

Never one to be put off so easily, Spain happily banged on the door with a blissful smile. "¡_Hola _Roma! We are here!"

It suddenly became silent in the other room, and they didn't get a response. The trio shrugged and opened the door…only for France and Spain to get attacked by their respective boyfriends.

"Bastards!" Romano snarled as he repeatedly hit Spain, only for the Spaniard to smile and catch his fists. "How the hell could you leave me locked in that goddamned room for several fucking hours?!"

"But Lovi, we weren't gone for that long~"

"You played a dirty trick on us, frog!" England snapped while he attempted to strangle France only for the Frenchman to smirk, grab the other's hands, and pull the Brit to him.

"Oh, don't be so mad at me, _mon cher_. It was for a good cause~" Then he cut off Arthur's protests by giving him a passionate kiss that quickly escalated and was gradually reciprocated.

And yet, throughout this, Canada merely walked behind Britain and Romano and watched them yell at their boyfriends, slightly bemused. Prussia walked up to him, wrapped his arms around his waist so that they were pressed up against each other, rested his hands on the other's hips, and smirked. "Hiya Birdie! Miss the Awesome Me?!"

Though Matthew blushed, he managed to roll his eyes. "Not even remotely. You left me alone with two bickering hotheads."

Prussia snickered and pulled him closer so that he could give him a short yet electric kiss. "You had an awesome time and you know it~"

Canada was too dazed to respond, so Romano growled, pulled away from Spain, and tugged the Canadian away from Prussia. "Shut up, bastard! We're all pretty pissed about you dickheads locking us in that goddamned room!"

Prussia raised an eyebrow. "All of you?" Then he pointedly looked at Britain who was enthusiastically making out with France.

Lovino snarled and yanked them apart. "Show some self-control, tea bastard!"

Arthur took that moment to regain himself before he fully caught up on the conversation. "Y-yes, we're all quite furious over this little game of yours. How could you just _leave_ us in there?!"

The Bad Touch Trio exchanged knowing glances, thrilled that they had a bit of an advantage. France smirked and spoke for the three of them. "We did it for the good of our relationships, and I must say that it worked like a charm~" Britain and Romano spluttered out protests while Canada flushed slightly. "Do not deny it, _mes chers_! I can easily tell that you three are no mere strangers anymore!"

Arthur, Lovino, and Matthew all looked to each other, trading a shared sensation of their blossoming bond yet while keeping their faces neutral. "No, we're not," Canada truthfully confessed for all of them.

Romano snorted in response and scowled, not saying anything. Britain made a small half-smile and threw his arms around him and Canada. "Well, I suppose you're right. I think these chaps and I will get along just fine."

Matthew gave him a shy, tender smile in response while Lovino squirmed in his grip. "Yeah, yeah, we're all buddy-buddy or whatever now let go of me! I get enough damned hugging from my idiot brother and my bastard of a boyfriend, I don't need it from you too, jerk!"

At that, England and Canada exchanged a glance, sharing a secret smile before they suddenly attacked Romano in a hug, one of them on either side of him. Lovino swore loudly in a mixture of Italian and English as he violently struggled, causing the two blondes to hug him tighter.

The Bad Touch Trio watched in astonished amazement when Britain triumphantly smirked. "Don't try to fight it, old sport. You're going to accept our hug whether you like it or not~"

Canada giggled and put in, "Yeah, especially since you're stuck with us~"

Romano struggled for a while before giving up, muttering death threats under his breath. "I hate you both so much!" And yet there was the tiniest hint of a smile on his lips and the briefest softening of his bronze orbs.

Meanwhile, the Bad Touch Trio were struck speechless by this spectacle and then briefly wondered what on earth they created. Nevertheless, Spain quickly got over it and let out a squeal of delight. "Aw, _mi_ Romanito is smiling! This is surely a time for celebration!" Then he rushed over and hugged Lovino from the front.

As the Italian stiffened and cursed, France and Prussia grew wide, silly grins on their faces, and they immediately shot over to the others and joined in the hug; Francis was hugging his _petit lapin_ as well as getting quick feel while Gilbert had his arms wrapped around his birdie and was nuzzling his neck. Each of England and Canada's cheeks turned pink, yet they didn't seem to mind.

Romano, on the other hand, was not as delighted. "GET THE HELL OFFA ME!" Yet, deep down, he was enjoying this just as much as the others were.

Not that he'd ever admit that of course.

The End

(~^o^)~ ~(^o^~)

* * *

**Longest…one-shot…ever! I applaud anyone who got this far X3**

**Thank you so much for reading this...for anyone who had the patience to actually read it all! Kudos and have a nice day :D**


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